Seeing the crazy-beautiful ensembles the cool cats at Pitti Uomo + W come up with twice a year is one of the highlights of my Florentine life – and I’m not even into fashion! Whether you love ’em or hate ’em, you gotta admit they put on a damn good show:
This is the guy you wanted to hang out with a Pitti Uomo. While everyone else was prancin’ around in their sky high heels and polyester blazers – miserable – he was all like: just relax guys, it’s all good. We found him strollin’ around in his pink linen suit and espadrillas, getting his picture taken (you can tell just how many times by the quality of his pose); just stayin’ cool, bein’ comfortable, and lookin’ like a million dollars in a thousand degree heat. This adorable girl can just get right outta town! And come over to my house and help me get dressed in the morning. She is all over two of the new season’s biggest trends: colorful mirror tint, circle lens sunglasses and platform sneakers. On top of that, she went and rocked a blue cerulean maxi wrapped in a hippie fringe vest, and I wanted to be her best friend forever. The greatest thing about Pitti is running into pages of a magazine in real life. This wanna-see-my-yacht model trio, sporting preppy blazers, pastel fitted shorts, and loafers, weren’t shy about showin’ a lot of Swedish-tanned leg. Which one of them do you want to tear out and hang on your wall? I had to hold myself back from ripping this expertly-belted, coral red romper right off this girl and hobbling away in my poorly chosen heels. I just want to make a sweeping generalization about European men’s fashion for guys you want to be more European (BESIDES dressing up/sizing down): Silver. Shoes. That is all. If we were on the phone and you asked me what I’m wearing and I said, “gladiator sandals, jean shorts, and an off-the-shoulder, ’80s knot t-shirt,” you would be like, “WTF.” But then you look at the girl in this picture and it ALL MAKES SENSE. There must be a little magic in those mirror tint sunglasses, I’m tellin’ you! You’re KILLING me in your tight white pants, lime green Chinese knot-button shirt, and black velvet studded slipper shoes. Stop looking at me like that you exotic prince! I see right through what you’re trying to do there with that blue loafer. And I accept. This sweetheart working the Saks Fifth Avenue booth was so unique in her country/vintage/glam awesomeness. Love those spiked Valentino heels, traitor! 😉 Pair a normal neon tank with skinny jeans, throw in an oriental vest and studded slipper shoes, rob Lady Gaga’s shoulder pads – and BAM! Indian princess. If I were a guy, I’d be this guy. Your curly mustache. Your hi-top fade. Those multi-color mirror tint perfect circle sunglasses – indoors. What are you, like, the poster child for Pitti Uomo? Is that a seersucker suit you just lemon yellow New Balanc-ed? You, sir, are TOO. MUCH. FABULOUS. Excuse me, Light and Breezy? Allow me to introduce you to Cropped and Platformed. The yin and yang of an untucked shirttail paired with a white quilted Chanel bag = classic bohemian chic. Double the trends! Maxi dresses, floral prints, funky patterns, a hint of neon, platform sneakers, cat eye lenses and, yet again, mirror tint sunglasses. Kind of regretting mine didn’t make it past the ’90s.