Ahhhh…Italy. Home to carbs, gelato and lots and lots of men. Tall, dark, and handsome men. And creepy men. And men that confess to loving you a little too fast.
Ladies, I hate to break it to you, but the fantasy of your romantic Italian getaway where you meet the man of your dreams is a little bit far fetched. Now, if we’re all being honest here, we know that every single girl that comes to Italy has this idea in the back of her head of meeting a handsome Italian man to sweep her up on his Vespa and ride off into the sunset or onto an Italian stage, since he’s an Italian Celebrity named Paolo (no…wait, that’s a Lizzie McGuire Movie). And yes, it is hard to resist the coos of “Ciao Bella” as you walk on by. Not to mention, Italian men are famous for being charming and some of the worlds best lovers.
But alas, I present to you, the top ten reasons why dating an Italian man is not all it’s cracked up to be.
10 reasons not to date italian men
1. Your phone might break with their rapid influx of messages
They will call you. And text you. And call you again. At first having a man’s full attention is flattering, but these Stage 10 clingers soon become more like that annoying mosquito you want to swat away.
Ok Lorenzo, chill your roll. We get it, we’re beautiful
2. And giving an Italian man attention is like inviting a stalker over
3. If their pick up lines aren’t cheesy…they’re just plain weird
4. They will do anything to get your attention
And I mean anything. Grabbing your arm at a bar, following you for blocks, or if you’re like this guy, showing off his high kick. Because what doesn’t make a girl swoon more than a man in Jorts trying to flip on the street at 2 am?
5. Your lack of interest doesn’t bother them a bit
Just as they are aggressive in their approach, they are aggressive in their pursuit. Forget the days of the cold shoulder turning a guy off. Here, it just keeps them going.
6. All Italian men take American girls on the same “Romantic” date
A walk up to one of the highest points in Florence to overlook the sunset on an early summer evening, *siiiiigh* how romantic. Yeah, it is…until you see a dozen Italian men taking fresh-off-the-plane American girls, all wide-eyed and excited, at the exact same time. I kid you not, at 2 in the afternoon, I witnessed two couples just getting it in the middle of the Piazza, right next to about 100 people taking pictures. It sounds like an Italian fantasy come true, until you realize that you’re the 108th girl they’ve taken to “see” Piazzale Michelangelo…that month.
7. They get attached faster than you can say “Piacere” (nice to meet you)
8. Google Translate makes for an awkward threesome
While the thought of an Italian man cooing sweet nothings in your ear all night is enticing, the language barrier becomes more of an annoyance than anything as the sun rises and you realize you have absolutely no idea what he is saying.
9. Their compliments might make you uncomfortable…
10. If it does work out, you’ll be pressured to never go home
And as wonderful as Italy is, that means giving up your family and friends, for a man that likes to eat your lips (see above).
BONUS** Most likely the home he wants you to stay at belongs to his mom and dad. In fact, if you stay, you get to share his childhood bedroom with them next door. Whoopee! Because you know, 28 year old men still live at home and their moms do their laundry. Have fun with that.